Melbourne’s Greatest Bars – Revolver Upstairs – Assessment

The popular Chapel Street’s Revolver, or ‘Revs’ as regular ravers of the less savoury form so fondly refer, is famous Melbourne-wide for providing open arms at any time of the evening, or more accurately day. If you want to find more websites about bar reviews read to the end of the article. As I stumble towards Revolver (not ‘Revs’, I’m not unsavoury) at 7am I discover that entering a bar MacDonald’s breakfast is sloppily served and while birds are cheerily chirping is an out of body experience in itself. Upon entrance I decide that I won’t be needing whatever she took in order to see Lucy in the sky with diamonds and see a woman pole dancing with a 1970’s style light shade.

A room full of mismatched furniture, passed out political princes of tomorrow leaving a tangled web of smashed glasses across a heavily stained ground and red light is an overwhelming first impression. It’s dragons though, on the other hand Revolver gifts a lack of drinking and more a haven of restoration for all those who went too much a few hours earlier and not all drunk dungeons.

Bar prices are common leaning towards expensive, and it’s obvious that for anyone who are able to afford to still return to the bar for a drink and gas intoxication on the street’s of Melbourne until 7am, income is no object.

As my way is made by me right through to the ladies room (or can i more aptly name it the ‘pass out room’?), the interior architecture and designs of Revolver become strikingly evident. As a kite ceilings high illustrate the feelings of those around me, as I am reminded by poster patched picture of my bedroom walls. Furniture is strewn across every wall and part, and I commence to feel as though I’ve stepped into a parallel universe op store where old women working for the Salvos are in reality table top dancing twenty year olds exhausting their last levels of energy before midday.

The hall ultimately causing the bathroom is crowded and almost overbearing, and before I allow myself answer the rhetorical self talk question “Why are both the men’s and women’s toilets crowded?”, I see a man walk out with one too many sniffs and a trace off white powder across his chequered chest. And so the crowded men’s toilets weren’t a case of camp friends seeking some one on a single, but instead a situation of “let’s be discreet in drug taking, even though we realize everybody here is off their chops”.

There’s a certain insufficient oxygen all through Revolver, and it seems that the most Smoking Sally’s head down the large staircase and onto Prahan’s Chapel Street for a smoke and a slouch. If fresh air is something you’re searching for at 8am on a Sunday morning, Revolver will round on a seek out such precious gold and have you going round and round.

Revolver Upstairs offers a wacked out waiting room for all those who enjoy spending those precious hours before Melbourne’s Metro trains set up again doing the dirty deeds they love. Although my knowledge was of the sober variety, the laughter of the intoxication of these around me was enough to have me leaving on a high all my own.

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